Becoming More Me

I often wonder why it’s so hard to be the person I want to be. I want to be a writer, but don’t pick up my pen. I want to be a runner, but don’t lace up my shoes. I want to try something new, but I stay home instead. The list goes on. I want, but I don’t do. Why? Do I simply want because the world tells me I should want? Am I mistaken about who I am? Or is being me just really hard?

I seem to come back to some version of this question at the beginning of every new year, but I think I finally have an answer. And it’s not the answer I wanted.

Being me is really hard.

Back in October, I spent three weeks on vacation in BC. This vacation was an eye-opener as to who I am, and who I want to be. Every day was a new adventure. I got up, got ready, and went somewhere to do something. These things included sightseeing, visiting museums, reading on the waterfront, biking, surfing, going for a run, hiking, yoga, climbing a mountain, and so much more. In my normal life, I spend a lot of time at home with books, bed, and Netflix. But on vacation, I felt obligated to leave my Airbnb every day and explore or try something new. And I loved it.

I’m a person who loves seeing a whole day stretched out ahead of her. Who loves crawling into bed early. Loves being outside. Loves going on adventures. Pushing boundaries. Writing and exploring. Creating and learning. My vacation cemented that for me.

But I’m also a person who can be extremely lazy. Who finds bed extremely comfy, and sleep very alluring. Who can binge-watch Netflix like no tomorrow, and eat way too many cookies in way too short of a time.

Being that second me is easy, and is the typical, day-to-day version of me. Being that first me is hard, and is a version that is rarely seen.

But I think being that first me is worth it, and in 2017, I’m going to make it happen more often.

I’m going to be more me.

In addition to becoming more me this year (or on the path to, I’m not quite sure), I have a laundry list of other things I’d like to accomplish:


I am a writer. I have always been a writer. But I am often a writer who isn’t writing. This year, I want to be a writer who IS writing, and not just for the first few months, but all year long.

  • Write for 15 minutes every day
  • Post 30 new, self-written pieces of content on the blog
  • Guest post in two locations

Continuous Learning.

I’ve never been a huge fan of food; instead, I live off information and learning. I want to learn more and more and more in 2017.

  • Read 52 books (#52in52). I’m aiming for 5 of these to be social justice related, 5 to be work-related, and 5 to be ‘other’ non-fiction.
  • Complete a number of online courses, including Caroline Kelso’s handlettering course (I’ve always wanted to write pretty), CSU’s student affairs course, and Northwestern’s social media MOOCs.
  • Make a decision re: future education (again).


A new category this year, I thought this was a good umbrella for, oh, I don’t know, growing up.

  • Make my apartment livable. I’ve lived there for a year and a half, and still haven’t finished decorating. Or really learned how to keep it clean…
  • A little unspecific, but I want to become more productive. My #oneword365 covers this one.
  • Give back to the community by volunteering 100+ hours, for at least 3 different organizations, and by donating blood three times.

Fun & Recreation.

Because yes, I need to make having fun into goals.

  • After several years of saying I’m going to do it, I’m going to make #thenew52 a thing, by doing 20 new things this year, at least 10 of them with other people.
  • Go on two weekend trips, and book one major trip (and Mexico doesn’t count).

Personal Projects.

Ideas are great, but I’m tired of not being a doer.

  • I have a list of projects I want to complete (if I told you, it would ruin the surprise!), and while I’d love to complete all of them, it’s my goal to ensure that at least 4 are brought to life!


It wouldn’t be a new year if I didn’t have wellness goals!

  • Become a runner. Run 250 kms by year end, including three 5K, one 10K, and one obstacle course race.
  • Run 5K in under 28 minutes, and 10K in under 60 minutes
  • Strength train. I can’t make this more specific, because I don’t currently know anything about it.
  • Adopt the habit of meal planning, and learn to cook six new meals.
  • Land an axel and pass my preliminary test.

What are some of your goals for 2017?

Featured image by Jamie Street on Unsplash

Nicole Crozier

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